How to date when you have kids

Going through a separation or divorce is tough enough but when you have to factor kids into the equation, it adds another layer of complexity. If you’re just starting date again, here are a few things you may want to consider.

Get a reliable babysitter

If you don’t have a lot of family aka babysitters around you, you’ll need to hire one/some. Letting strangers look after your kid isn’t easy so before your social schedule gets booked out from dates, you’ll want to find a babysitter you can rely on.

Speak to your kids

A separation/divorce can be a huge transition for kids regardless of their age. Have a chat to them to get a feel for their comfort levels with you dating again. You’ll want to have multiple discussions to ensure your kids feel like their your top priority. You might also want to manage expectations when you’re dating i.e. when you might introduce a guy to them, how much details your kids want to know, what time you’ll be home when you have a date…etc.

Use full disclosure in your profile

Choosing to have children (or not) is an individual choice and not all singles out there want children. If you’re dating to find another partner, you’ll want to disclose that you have kids as early as possible (to save everyone’s time). Most dating sites will ask you whether you have children or not but a lot of dating apps don’t have the same functionality. If you’re using dating apps, you might want to include a one-liner to say you’re a single dad/mom.

Easy does it

If you’re dating for the first time in a really long time, you might find that dating has completely changed. There are a plethora of dating apps out there but it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Choose to tackle one dating app at a time. You’ll find that each attracts a specific audience. It might take a few tries to figure out which one is right for you.

Don’t overcommit

If you’re meeting people online, not all of the connections and chemistry you feel will translate in real life. For first dates, stick with a coffee meet and greet. That way you’re not committing to a 3+ hr date with someone you have little interest in.

What you need to do BEFORE you start dating:

Success in dating has everything to do with mindset and so if previous relationships have left you feeling jaded, you might want to do a mindset check in. Check out my free Mindset for Love course.

Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash

Iona

Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.

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