I can’t imagine what single life would have been like without my two wing women. It wasn’t always easy but when it was fun…it was really fun. There was always a sympathetic ear who’d be there to listen when a relationship fizzled or on those days I really thought #foreveralone would be in my destiny. But nothing lasts forever and when I found myself as the last single person in that group, I felt like I was lagging behind in a timeline that society created for me. If you can relate to any of this, here are my top tips for coping with being single in your 30s.
Forget the timelines. Everyone’s journey is unique.
This sounds so cliché but once you can accept this, every aspect of life will get so much easier when you stop comparing yourself to others. Yes, all your acquaintances and younger cousins are now married but their paths may change. My husband and I married late and now I’m seeing those who got married before us going through divorce.
Have a back-up plan
I have a friend who has a very successful career. Having babies was always on the agenda but sometimes the universe has other plans. She found herself single in her mid 30s and after realising that she may not find a man to start a family with, she made a backup plan to do it on her own. This did two things: it eased the pressure off dating and it meant that she could still have the family she’s dreamed of, no matter what. If you want it bad enough, there’s always a way.
Check into your mindset
Just a few months ago, two of my students from Mindset for Love and Lucky in Love told me they were ENGAGED! And the secret sauce to their success was the mindset work they did. How do you currently feel about dating? About men? About whether or not you’ll find your ‘one’? How you answer these questions will tell you a lot about the relationships you’re attracting now. Check out the free course — Mindset for Love.
Do something different
If you’re meeting the same kind of men at the same kind of places, you’re likely to repeat the same dating patterns. If you’re tired of watching your love life play out in a loop, do something different. Be open to dating men you never would’ve considered before. Say yes to doing something that’s completely out of your comfort zone. Get out of your rut. Travel. Book a retreat.
Re-evaluate your dating patterns
I know so many people who blame their lack of success in love on the other sex “women just want to use men”, “all men are liars, cheaters”, “men are so lazy in dating these days”. If your relationships keep fizzling out, there’s a common pattern. It’s you. And the best part about this is that you are in control to change your patterns. So start by finding out what they are. How do you relationships begin? How do they end? If you were to send your exes a survey about the type of partner you are, what would they say? What are your strengths and weaknesses in a relationship?
Find more single girlfriends
When you’re always hanging out with friends who are paired up, it could be a constant reminder of your single status. Find some single girlfriends to hit the town or try new things with. I’ve personally found making friends in Sydney a bit tough. So if you can relate, try signing up the gym or a new class (i.e. I learned Japanese and made a few girlfriends along the way).
Find age-appropriate apps
Not all dating apps are made for 30 something singles. Stay away from Tinder if you’re looking for more than a hookup. My favourite dating app for singles in their 30s at the moment is Hinge. Check out my review here:
Dating in your 30s as a woman can be challenging sometimes. But it’s not all doom and gloom depending on your perspective. I have a ton of resources that have helped women find their own ‘luck’ in love.