(If you just want to know about the pros and cons of freezing your eggs in your 30s, skip the next few paragraphs and go straight to the pros and cons. )
“Yea Nick* may be single but he’s got it so much better than Nina. He doesn’t have to worry about being too old to have a baby”.
This was how one of my guy friends described our friends’ breakup. He explained that Nick had plenty of time to meet and date younger and older women. There was plenty of time for him to choose the right woman to marry and start a family with. He sympathised with Nina because she was in her mid 30s and found herself single in a town where most single men were already taken. For Nina, there was also the added pressure of meeting someone who was ready to have a baby. She didn’t have much time against her biological clock. Yep. This is one of the few realities of dating in your 30s as a single women.
As a dating coach for single women, I like to think there is a workaround – a solution for every challenge a 30 something single woman would face. The biological clock, I have to admit, is a tricky one.
You can trick others to thinking your younger than you look via great skincare, a good night’s sleep (hi Jen), and cosmetic treatments. But you can’t trick your body into thinking it’s at prime baby-making age when it’s not.
When you’re dating in your 30s, you’re constantly thinking about where your ‘one’ will show up;
…how it’ll happen
…when it’ll happen
…if it’ll ever happen
We tend to spend so much time meeting our guy, falling in and out of relationships – we forget to think about the future. And where’s the harm in that really? Shouldn’t we be living in the present? Freezing your eggs is such a personal choice. And even if I could turn back time, I’m not sure if my younger self would’ve chosen to do it. Either way, one thing I do regret is that I didn’t give it enough thought.
So if you’re thinking about whether or not to freeze your eggs in your 30s, here are some things to consider:
Pros of freezing your eggs if you’re in your 20s or 30s
- You can still plan for a family even though you’re single
I know women who are adamant about having babies whether they find a life partner or not. If you can relate, freezing your eggs now could mean you can create a contingency plan. My friend Jamie* decided to freeze her eggs in her late 20s. It was her baby back up plan – a plan that meant if she hadn’t met anyone by 35, she’d have a baby on her own. She’s 36 and has a beautiful baby boy. Freezing your eggs could take the pressure off finding the right guy. Knowing that you could start a family with or without a man can be empowering.
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- All the tests you have to do will alert you to potential fertility issues
One of the most underrated things about trying to conceive is having tests to make sure you’re healthy. When you decide to freeze your eggs, you’ll need to undergo a whole bunch of tests. So if you spot any issues now, you’ll be armed with the information to manage them.
- Egg quality may be better now than when you’re older*
Consult your doctor about this one but a girlfriend told me that the quality of your eggs may change with age. With that logic, freezing them when you’re younger means you may have a better chance with pregnancy if you decide to have a baby later.
Cons of freezing your eggs if you’re in your 20s or 30s
- It’s not a guarantee
So many factors come to play when you’re trying to have a baby. Egg freezing may not 100% guarantee that you’ll fall pregnant. There are a whole bunch of blood tests and scans you can do to ensure your body can take a pregnancy to full term. If you are covered by public or private healthcare, it shouldn’t cost more than a few hundred dollars. Note that egg freezing comes at an additional cost…which brings me to my next point.
(Always seek medical advice if you’re thinking about starting a family)
- Can be costlyDepending on your level of health care, you might incur a lot of out of pocket expenses. Egg freezing could cost thousands.
(This varies depending on where you live. In Australia, it can be up to five figure sums depending on your situation)
- Judgement from social circlesEgg freezing, conceiving, keeping/not keeping a baby is a very sensitive topic. Everyone will have their own opinion about it and you may find that the most unexpected people may have an issue with it. Select a small support network to confide in.