The challenges of dating in your 30s as a single woman are real but they’re actually not as bad as you’d expect. Just about to turn 30? Or maybe you’ve been single in your 30s for awhile, this article is for you. I’ll share exactly what dating in your 30s is like plus how you can make the most out of it and find a great match in no time.
I know many men in their 30s who are hesitant to date 3o something women because they feel rushed to decide if she’s the one or not (they don’t want to waste her time). And I can’t sugar coat it. The biggest challenge with dating in your 30s is your biological clock. I know everyone has their own timeline but when all of your friends are getting engaged, married and having babies, it can feel like you’re behind. And so those feelings of uncertainty and anxiety rush you into meeting someone so you can get married and have kids by 35. The downfall is that rushing to find a partner can send the wrong impression to men, scare them away. Not only that when you rush to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, you risk making the wrong choice.
Do you want to find a guy now just so you can tick a box? Or do you want to find someone to spend the rest of your life with. Think about your current actions. Do they help to achieve outcome a or b? You must pick a or b (not both).
Many men in their 30s want to get married, they just don’t want to be the guy someone marries for the wrong reasons. I personally know what it feels like to get caught up in timelines. But my own timelines sent me straight to Tinder with matches and dates that went nowhere. I wasn’t happy. I was frustrated. I felt I had lost all control over my love life because the uncertainty consumed me.
It wasn’t until I got out of my own head that I learned how to pace myself in relationships and let things flow. Dating mindset is something I always start with when I’m coaching single women.
In my mindset makeover, I share how you can tame your biological clock so you can date in the present not for a guy’s potential.
The pool is a bit smaller
Dating is never about quantity as some date coaches will tell you. So don’t be put off by the smaller dating pool. The reality is, yours 30s are a time when the next lift stage starts, your first years of marriage, babies…etc. So if you’re on a dating app, don’t be surprised to find many more men in their 20s. Life stage and mindset matters more than age. You can find a guy in their 20s who might be on the same page as you. Don’t discount the 20 somethings looking to settle down. Focus on your core values and then see if your timelines align. You’re looking for a life partner here, it’s a lifetime decision. Treat it like one.
You get in your own way with your ideas of relationships and dating
How we feel about dating and relationships is shaped by our experiences. When you’ve hit your 30s, you will already have 30 years of references to dating and love. This can be tricky if these references have led you to believe that relationships are difficult or that all men are non- commital. Your references are directly related to the people you’re attracting. If you find yourself attracting the same type of men or relationships, you need to change your ideas of relationships. They’re your truth and not a reality. Want a healthy relationship? Find examples in your life and use those as reference. In my Lucky in Love programme I have modules dedicated to re-writing perceptions of dating and relationships so that singles can ditch the ‘programming’ that’s created their roadblocks in finding a life partner.
What other challenges have you faced dating in your 30s? Leave a comment and let me know.