Conversation Starters: Sneak Peek to the New Book

talk to men

The thought of meeting men in real life can be daunting when it’s so much easier to hide behind a screen. It may seem old school but meeting someone in person is still one of the best ways to work out if you’ll hit it off. No one uses pick up lines anymore in 2018 (phew!). But meeting someone in real life can be intimidating. We don’t have the time to think about what to say next like we do in a tex.

Not sure what to say or how to start a conversation? I’ve launched a book called 101 Conversation Starters. Here’s an excerpt from the book:

How to start a conversation with a stranger at a restaurant:

That looks amazing, what have you ordered?

Why it works:

This one won’t work if he’s got a burger or steak. But, if it’s something a little different or interesting, you can use it to jump into conversation.

I’ve never been here before. What would you recommend?

Why it works:

Striking up a conversation in public is challenging. In a restaurant? Even more so! People come to a restaurant with a purpose, and usually with their friends or family, so breaking the ice is a fine art. Make food the centre of attention and work your way into the conversation from there.

Do you mind if I sit here?

Why it works:

This works best in restaurants with more communal or shared seating arrangements. It’s simple, a little coy, but there’s no available guy who doesn’t love being approached by a woman. If he is taken, you’ve not had to go out on a limb to talk to him so you can back out easily.

I can’t finish this bottle of wine, would you like to help me?

Why it works:

This one requires some confidence, but if you’re halfway through a bottle of wine confidence shouldn’t be a problem! Everyone loves a free drink, and he’ll be intrigued at the charismatic, confident woman who’s just invited him over.

Ok I know this sounds crazy but I have to ask, don’t you think the waitress looks exactly like [celebrity]?

Why it works:

The key to talking to strangers in public places is to focus on the roof – the roof is an introduction. That means, the place you’re in is always the common link. Use the waitress to open with a fun, playful line and let it grow from there.

Tips for chatting up strangers:

Ask one question at a time

Sometimes people get so nervous they’ll ask one question after another. Not only is this confusing for the person answering the questions (which is he meant to answer first?), it also shows you’re not actively listening to the person answering the question.

Embrace the pause

When you open the conversation with a cheeky line, it’s ok to pause. It’s tempting to fill the awkward silence or to overcompensate for the other person but what pausing before you speak will a) give the person time to respond b) allow you to respond with composure if your one liner is not well received

Watch your body language

What you say with your body is equally as important as the words you use. Face the person you’re talking to (don’t turn your body away from them), smile, uncross your arms and legs.

If any of these tips were helpful to you, you’ll love my new book: 101 Conversation Starters. Now available on Amazon


talk to men

100 Conversation Starters Book on Amazon

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Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.