I love a success story and a friend pointed out that I don’t share them enough.
This is Heidi’s story.
“I had been single for ages before I met Iona. I was meeting men and dating but either they were not ready for a relationship or they were living overseas. Somehow it never worked out.
Even though I was never lonely I really wanted to meet someone to settle down with. When you’re in your late 20s and 30s everyone just pairs off. Not to mention I was getting some serious pressure from my family. All my younger cousins were already married and planning to start a family.
It wasn’t that I didn’t believe I deserved love. I just didn’t know what I was doing wrong. Iona was like a mirror. She helped me see all the things that I was missing. She helped me realise what kind of guy I really needed (and it was SO far away from what I thought). She pulled me from the anxiety I had from still being single.
She drilled mindset work into me like a daily 20 minute workout. And it paid off.
A few months ago I met Jeremy, this amazing guy who adores me. Someone who tells me exactly what is on his mind. I feel so good in this relationship, so loved, so safe and so protected. I never realised relationships could feel so stable.
Thank you” —-Heidi
Great story isn’t it?
When I first started working with Heidi, she said it would be ‘nice’ to find someone to share a life with.
I probed. What does ‘nice’ mean?
Her: Well, nice to have
Me: Nice to have or a must-have?
Her: Well I don’t want to be desperate…
Me: Is getting what you ask for desperate?
Her: No but…I don’t want guys to think I am
In the rest of the dialogue we uncovered that Heidi didn’t want to make a relationship a must have because she was afraid she’d never find it. If she didn’t wholeheartedly try, she could always say well I haven’t given it 100%.
But when you don’t set 100% of your intention to finding it, the road to finding your one is so much longer. It was setting the intention and building a good mindset that set Heidi up to attract her man.
Here’s why mindset activities work:
Because dating has its ups and downs
Dating is an experience. Good dates, bad dates – they’re all part of the experience. But once you adjust your perspective, you can make every date a good one. And if things don’t work out? A good mindset will help you bounce back.
It puts you in receiving mode
A lot of women tell me that dating apps or crap or the men are crap but I believe that superficial problems are NEVER the problem. I’ve known women who’ve met their husbands on Tinder and then women who always meet the most dodgy guys. The difference between them isn’t about their looks. It’s their mindset. There’s a reason to explain why some women always meet men who aren’t right for them. When you strip back all the problems, it almost always has to do with them not feeling good enough to receive what their heart craves. Mindset work helps you recognise what you’re worthy of, it helps you receive love.
We’re often our own roadblocks
A lot of self sabatage happens when we’re not ready for love. Some women will say they’re ready to meet someone special but then their actions will show otherwise. Instead of dating with intention they’ll settle for Friday nights in with takeout and their booty call. They fall into relationships not because it’s what they need but it’s what feels familiar. They chase specific guys because it’d bruise their ego if the affection wasn’t reciprocated. The list goes on – some women go through dating groundhog not knowing what they’re doing wrong.
Sometimes it’s hard to see the kind of love you’re able to receive. When you’ve been in a string of bad relationships it doesn’t seem all that possible. But I’ve seen it time and time again. If you commit to the process with all your heart – anything is possible.
Ready to start your mindset work? Start with the Mindset Makeover course: