5 Differences Between a Long Term and Short Term Girlfriend

Dating is ridden with enough blurry lines to wreck your vision. If you’ve ever had the awkward ‘Where is this going’ conversation, you’ll know that it’s a hit or miss. Some guys are serial monogamists whilst some just don’t like the commitment. Either way, they have all once wanted to ‘just have fun’. So what’s the difference between the girl he sleeps with and the girl he calls his girlfriend? Is it a matter of timing? Having similar values? A shared love for chocolate orange Tim Tams? I had no idea so I asked the guys for their very candid feedback. Here are 5 differences between a long term and short term girlfriend.

1. You like your girlfriend. You don’t need to like the girl you have a casual fling with.

Physical chemistry matters but according Adam, it takes more than that to turn a casual relationship to a serious one. On a girl he casually dated: ‘she was hot but very negative and thought the whole world was against her. That’s someone I’d never call my girlfriend but she was hot so we hung out for awhile’. 

2. You want the same things as your girlfriend. You don’t care if your casual fling hops on the next flight to England.

Having similar values builds the foundation of a relationship – especially if you’re serious about having a future together. But Mark says the conversations aren’t worth the time if you’re only shacking up with them here and there: “In a casual relationship, you talk about your day, your friends…superficial stuff. The conversations are about you, me rather than we”

3. You care about your girlfriend’s family and actually know how many siblings she has. 

Joe: If it’s someone I’m serious about, I’ll ask about her family. I come from a very traditional Indian family where horoscopes and cast matters. The woman I marry has to be from a similar culture (she not only needs to be Indian, she needs to be from the south, preferably from my hometown). If  I meet someone who doesn’t fit the criteria, I’ll make it known that I want something casual. 

4. You have many girls you can have casual flings with but few you can call your girlfriend

‘When you really want to settle down, you’ll find the choices in the field are much more narrow. Whereas, if you’re just looking to hook up with someone, your set of standards is completely different – everyone is eligible. You don’t have to get along with them if you’re just sleeping with them. With a girlfriend, it’s different – you actually envision a future with her so you’re likely to invest in more quality time.’ – says David. 

5. You don’t have wandering eyes with someone you’re interested in long term (we hope not)

In a casual relationship, you’re open to seeing more than one person (which in my opinion says something about the said casual relationship). You’re not completely to committed to anyone and are free to explore your options. I think guys know they really like someone when they stop looking for something better to come along because they know they’ve just hit the girlfriend jackpot.