Why Your Arguments are Like Car Accidents
Arguments in relationships are like car accidents aren’t they? We know we’re suppose to keep driving and yet we all have to do a slow drive by to see what the fuss is about, what damage was done, whose fault it was…etc. If you’ve been involved in an accident, then you’ll know someone is always the blame, someone is always the victim – it’s no different from an argument with your better half.
In a car accident, someone is always at fault but that doesn’t mean the victim hasn’t played part in the accident happening. Maybe they weren’t paying full attention, perhaps they were playing with their phone or distracted by the latest Taylor Swift track. It takes two for a collision and unless one of those two is a telephone pole then both were likely at fault. So how do you cope?
Iona: Am I the one to blame or am I doing the blaming? Either way, I always analyse my actions and try to understand why I’m behaving the way I am. More often than not, my reactions are a result of two things – lack of sleep and hungriness (hungry+angry). If the issue is bigger than not having snacks between my meals than I usually step back from the situation,let all emotions pass and then revisit the argument.
Michael: Pick someone you don’t argue with. Some people don’t like to argue and will do a lot to avoid it.
Nick: You need someone with a good personality but it takes patience from both sides. I don’t deal with divas. By divas, I mean girls who are co dependent or argue so that someone is fighting for them.
Amy: I was the girlfriend who always wanted to be right no matter what because I had too much pride to admit I was wrong. All those little petty arguments snow ball though. You never win by being a bitch so choose your battles. Do you want to win or be happy? Because winning will always mean someone will lose. If it’s not you this time, it’ll be you the next.
3 Tips to Argue Better
1. Make sure your partner isn’t hungry. You’d be surprised by how quickly arguments can escalate when one is hungry
2. Listen. No, really take the time to do it. Let her/him finish their sentences and think about what they’ve said before you respond
3. Have sex. I know a couple who make sure they do it everyday even when they’re arguing. A physical bond is just as important as an emotional one.
Some people just love to argue. But if you agree that arguments are like car accidents you’ll also know collisions are inevitable anyway. To keep the peace you just need to know which ones are worth taking to court (to battle it out) and which ones to settle on. In my relationships, I always prefer to settle. It often means an outcome both parties can agree to.