Why I Pay For My Dates – By Nick

first-dates-who-paysThe topic of dates and who pays is trending in my social circle. From one of my girlfriends:

Disclaimer: I’m not a princess but…
Him: Let me take you out for an after work drink in the City.
Me: Sure, let’s meet at the Hilton they have great Martini’s.
Him: Damn! “That’s an expensive first date”. I was thinking more like a pub with drink specials.
Me: Silence (Crickets chirping in the background) LMAO.

How would you respond?

This was my response. I thought you might be a little interested…..

My attitude for a long time in dating was that each party should put a level of financial investment into the dating process. It didn’t need to be half and it could be that one person pays one date, the other person pays the next.

However, I have changed this approach over the last year or 2 and I am now happy to pay the first and generally the second too.

There are a few reasons for this:

  1. I spend so much money in my social life anyway, that paying for a date doesn’t make an impact.
  2. It is the gentlemanly thing to do.
  3. It leaves a good impression.
  4. As I am leading, it is my choice of venue and I enjoy nice things, so shouldn’t expect the person to pay for a $20+ cocktail.
  5. It takes the thoughts and issues associated with money off the table completely and allows me to be more present to the person in front of me.

What I do look in the first, second or third dates (in relation to money) is that the woman offers or gives the indication that she is happy to pay. If I get to the end of the 2nd date and she hasn’t given that, she would have to be pretty damn amazing for me to propose a 3rd date.

Photo Credit: Clichefotos


Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.