Nick’s Diary of a 30 Something Dater

diary of a 30 and single manBy day, I work with a group of smart, attractive and talented women ranging from their 20s to 40s. Relationships and dating are often topics of discussion and it seems regardless of age, everyone loves love. It could be the temporary “I love you but am not sure if I want to marry you” kind or “I’m looking for someone to grow old with” kind of love. Regardless, when all your friends are coupled up it’s difficult to deny the pressures of feeling like you should be settling down as well. I often wonder if guys feel this way so in the next coming weeks, we’ll be interviewing men in their 30s. Meet Nick – Age 35.

How long have you been single?

Just before Christmas, I was in a monogamous relationship but only for a second (around a month). 2010 was the last time I’ve had a serious relationship and that lasted for about 3 years. Since then I’ve been on countless dates and have had many lovers. In total, over 4 years, I guess I would have been on 130 first dates.

Wow. That’s a lot of first dates. You must be busy. What does your love life look like in a week?

In a week, I’ll go on 1-2 first dates and 2 days out of the week I’ll spend with women I’ve dated more than once. Dates vary quite significantly but generally include a drink to start, lots of walks, often a tasty treat and sometimes an activity. Regardless whatever it is, it’s typically suited towards my lifestyle and interests. Because men do most of the planning in the initial stages of dating, we also get to choose where we go and what we do. Women of course have a say in this but most I know are happy just to go with the flow and let the man lead.

Where do you meet these women?

Through a combination of RSVP, Tinder and approaching women in real life. I’ve realised that I have to start approaching them as I kinda use online dating as a crutch. I have far better interactions in person. In person, I have a quick idea of my attraction towards them. When you meet people in person you can also see their eyes, their smile, what they look like and how they dress. Online is just so easy! – I was doing it while watching Walking Dead.

Give us your best pick up line.

In real life? A simple hello or a sincere compliment specific to the person is usually the most effective. If you’re approaching them for the first time online, you have to make it interesting and creative so it intrigues the woman and encourages her to reply. Women get inundated with messages all the time. Unless you are Ryan Gosling’s twin, you should try to come up with a charming and witty subject line.

What’s been your most memorable date?

This one is easy. It was early last year. I took her for a picnic in Little Bay at night and we went for a swim afterwards.

What can a girl do to make a good impression?

Also simple. Smile. Smell good, look good, be funny and engaging. Maintain good eye contact and be interested in the man in front of you.

What’s the best first date outfit a girl can wear?

Best first date outfit? I’m not sure there is a perfect outfit. It would have to be something that suits them and their personality. If you wear clothes that suit you and make you look feminine, then you’ll look and feel good.

What’s the most challenging thing about dating in your 30s?

Expectations. I’m looking for my next great love and I think with every new person you meet, there’s always hope they are going to be the last person you date, the last first date you’ll ever go on. When it doesn’t work out, you naturally get disappointed.

Top tips for other single guys?

Smile. Take the lead. Smell good. Be interesting. Maintain eye contact. Be present. Be interested in the person and get to know them. Be a gentleman.

Lastly, what are you looking for? 

My next great love, my partner in crime and my best friend.

Photo Credit: Magic Mazdik


Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.