Most women I know assume chivalry is dead – so much so that it’s such a pleasant surprise when a guy makes an effort to open a door or offer them their coat. There’s no doubt that expectations of the modern day gentleman are changing. The same goes for how guys view chivalry. Many guys I’ve spoken to think it’s a double standard that women expect to be treated as an equal and yet when it comes to opening doors and paying for the bill, the onus is on the man. Though it’s a fair comment, it’s just plain nice when a man knows how to treat us like the ladies that we are (note to ladies: you have to behave like one if you want to be treated as such). Blogger James Michael Sama lists the 8 Acts of Chivalry to Bring Back. Here’s what we thought of his list.
Giving Up Your Seat
Have we forgotten that it is common courtesy to offer your seat to a pregnant woman, elderly person or someone who is clearly in need of a seat more than you? Like James, I cringe when I’m on a crowded bus and no one offers their seat. Both men and women should be doing this but I am always so grateful when a guy offers me his seat. To me, it says he is thoughtful and considerate – both admirable qualities.
Pulling Out a Woman’s Chair
A bit old fashioned, I believe there’s a time and place for this. Fancy restaurant yes. Pub dinner? A bit over the top though I would still appreciate the gesture.
Open doors for her
It is such a simple gesture so I couldn’t agree more with what James says here. I once had a guy slam the door in my face. It was one of those doors that swung in and out really quickly and it literally hit my face. He was probably in a rush but he will now be known as the jerk who couldn’t take a few seconds to hold the door. Please don’t be that guy.
Call, don’t text a date invite
If you’ve read my previous posts, (read Dating Etiquette 101) you’ll know I’m a big fan of short phone calls over texts. And so in times of Tinder hookups and sms invites, it is so refreshing when someone calls to make plans with you. It’s also great to hear someone’s voice sometimes.
It’s not that we expect to be showered with compliments but it is nice to feel appreciated. I think this goes both ways though. Everyone wants to be appreciated and so I think it’s important for women to express our appreciation to our dates where it’s genuine.
Walking on the street-side of the sidewalk
This isn’t so important to me personally…unless there is a pigeon in sight (I have an irrational fear of them). In that case, if he were to walk on either side to fend them off then I know I have a keeper.
Walking her to her door
Again, a nice gesture but unnecessary unless I lived in a very dodgy part of town or I’ve just watched a horror movie where an axe murderer attacks leading ladies at their door step.
Parking far away? Drop her off first
This one is good especially where heels are involved but I often feel very guilty knowing my date has to walk a distance solo whilst we’re are on a date. To avoid this, I often just bring a pair of flats so heel pains are never an issue.
Some of the guys reading this are probably thinking…well, if we were to be chivalrous, what do us men get out of it? To which a true gentleman would reply – nothing, the point of chivalry is the act of doing something honourable and generous out of respect for women. To the ladies who have given up on chivalry….it exists I promise. As it is so rare though, women should show our appreciation for it when it happens.
Photo Credit: Jono Mueller