It’s the same story only with different characters. In the past 2 weeks, more than 3 of my girlfriends have confided in me about their mediocre relationships. There is nothing particularly ‘wrong’ with the relationships per say. Issues range from dependency, laziness to poor time management but there’s an inkling that something about the relationship isn’t quite right. So what do they do? Brush the problem under the carpet because it’s so much easier to do than to be single. In your 30s, most of your friends have coupled up. To end a relationship in your 30s for some is like committing social suicide. Everyone is coupled up doing couply things and it’s daunting to know that you won’t ‘fit in’ anymore. Fear is why we stay in mediocre relationships. It’s the fear of being alone, fear of rejection, fear of a new life that stands in our way to happier relationships.
I totally get it. Being single at a stage where you should be getting married and making babies is scary but can you stay in a relationship knowing there might be someone more suited for you? Most of my friends will say ‘He’s a great guy and he loves me but…’, at no point do they tell me how much they love their significant others. It’s all very telling. They are simply settling because it’s comfortable.
Of course I never tell them they should leave their partners. It’s a decision they need to come to on their own…if they do. Some of them will plod along in these mediocre relationships and few will break free. Either way, relationships evolve and if one day you find it doesn’t work out. Don’t be afraid to leave because you think you’re suppose to get married. There is no rush. As my cousin says – “I’d rather be the last to get married than the first to get a divorce.”.
Written by Guest Contributor: Isabelle M