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What 175 Posts Have Taught Me About Relationships

What 175 Posts Have Taught Me About Relationships

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175 posts ago I had just gotten out of a break up and needed a creative outlet to express my emotions in a productive way. What started off as one post about going through a break up in your 30s led to another and when I ran out of things to say about break ups, I wrote about dating stories and cautionary tales. A few posts later, I can honestly say I’m still no expert at this but you encourage me to ‘put myself out there’ everyday so in celebration of 175 posts, here are a few things the blog has taught me about relationships.

1. There are no relationship ‘experts’

No two people are the same. Some claim to have a ‘method’ for meeting that dream guy or girl but emotions aren’t all that logical. What worked for you may not work on others. One size doesn’t fit all. Advice needs to be taken with a pinch of salt, even (especially) if it comes from us. But if I were to shed 1 piece of non-expert advice, it’d be to work on the relationship with yourself first. The rest will follow.

2. If you feel like you’re the only single person out of your family and friends, know there are others like you Googling the same things

Otherwise I wouldn’t have spent every Sunday for the past year sharing these articles. What kept me writing was that people were actually finding my blog through phrases like ‘ single and 30’ or ‘dating in your 30s’ so I knew I wasn’t the only one fumbling through online dating, flirting and awkward first dates.

3. Your issues don’t disappear once you get into a relationship

The ‘journey’ doesn’t end when you can change your status from single to ‘In a relationship’. That’s just when one chapter ends and another begins. If you have baggage when you’re single, the baggage will just manifest in different forms when you’re in a relationship. 

4. Men aren’t big talkers

Our guy panel may seem all chatty but when I do a Q&A with them, I often get one worded answers or at most, one liners. The answers you end up reading are a result of a little (a lot depending on the guy) probing from my part. Read: What he thinks of your lingerie, We asked. You Answered and What the friend zone means to him

5. Dating in your 30s doesn’t get harder

No one is immune to weird dates and relationship problems. Everyone goes through the same kind of relationship issues. What started out as a blog for 30 something singles eventually evolved into a blog that readers in their 20s and 40s could relate to too. I guess the friend zone can happen in your 40s and 50s too.

6. The more you invest the more you get back

When I started writing 2 posts a week instead of 1, I saw a spike in people coming to my site – which just encouraged me to keep going. When I decided to start dating, I invested the time to go on dates (breakfast, lunch and dinners) and it eventually led me to someone I adore. Pattern here? Just put some effort into it.

7. Sundays aren’t spent reading articles on relationships

Our readership always dips on a Sunday – which makes me happy knowing that you are probably spending your Sundays away from your mobiles and laptops.

8. Men are just as lost as women when it comes to relationships

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They’re just less vocal about it. You know how women analyse everything a man does? Some guys do the same but are shy to ask about it.

9. Love comes in abundance when you decide to let it in

Everyone deserves it. Some just don’t know it.

10. Writing can heal you

Time can heal all wounds but writing will heal it faster. If you’re going through a break up, read: Moving on from a breakup in your 30s and the Art of Letting Go.

THANK YOU!

Special thanks to Kate at Secret Blogger Business and everyone at SBB who encourage me to be a bit more open and vulnerable in my writing.

Photo: Leon Biss

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